December 12, 2025: Mares, Geldings, and the Great Barnyard Debate
This week, Bee and I wandered into one of the oldest, funniest, and most passionately debated topics in the horse world. Forget politics. Forget sports rivalries. Nothing divides a barn aisle quite like the question:
Mares or geldings.
Say it out loud in a tack room and someone will roll their eyes, someone will clutch their pearls, and someone will whisper, “Let me tell you about my mare.”
Since Bee is a mare who embodies both the brilliance and the chaos, it felt like the perfect time to take a humorous deep dive into what really separates the girls from the boys.
What Exactly Is a Gelding (and Why It Matters)
Before we go any further, it helps to define what a gelding actually is. A gelding is a male horse who has been castrated, usually between six months and two years old. Removing the testosterone factory changes quite a bit about their behavior. The goal is not to inconvenience the horse. It is to make him easier, safer, and more predictable to live and work with.
Why gelding early matters:
• Lower testosterone means fewer hormones driving behavior - This reduces aggression, dominance, herding instincts, and romantic interests in mares.
• They become easier to train and handle - Young stallions can be strong minded and pushy. Geldings tend to focus sooner and stay more relaxed.
• They fit more peacefully into mixed herds - A stallion might constantly posture, guard mares, or pick fights. A gelding usually wants snacks and friendship.
• It prevents unwanted breeding - Most horses will not be used for stud. Gelding keeps everyone’s family tree under control.
• They stay safer in boarding situations - A gelding can live with other geldings and often even mares. Stallions typically need more controlled environments.
All of this adds up to why many riders describe geldings as emotionally steady or easier for beginners. It is not that they are less intelligent or capable. They just are not riding around with a monthly hormone subscription service.
Meanwhile, mares keep all their hormones and all their opinions. Bless them.
The Case for Geldings
Many riders swear by geldings for one very simple reason: predictability. Geldings tend to show up the same way every day. If horses were employees, geldings would be the ones who clock in early, eat their lunch out of the same brown bag, and refill the office coffee pot without being asked.
Typical gelding traits:
• Consistent and steady
• Less sensitive to environmental changes
• No heat cycles
• Less dramatic
• Great for beginners or confidence building
This does not mean they cannot be spicy or goofy, but overall, geldings often have that reliable, soft-hearted Labrador energy.
Now for the Mares
Mares are girl horses with all their original equipment and hormones in place. And trust me, they should come with the user manual.
Mares get a reputation for being “difficult,” but mare people will tell you that is only because mares have thoughts, feelings, and absolutely no interest in pretending otherwise.
Mare traits often include:
• Intelligence
• Emotional sensitivity
• A strong sense of boundaries
• Fierce loyalty
• Selective affection
They know who they like, when they like them, and whether your energy is acceptable today.
A gelding might ask, “What are we doing?”
A mare asks, “Why are we doing it and are you qualified to lead this operation?”
The Viral Wisdom About Mares
This week I came across a post from Equimotional – Trauma-Informed Training & Resource Hub, and it articulated the mare experience so perfectly that I had to include it here with credit.
“Why Mares Are Better Than Geldings (and yes, this is absolutely my biased opinion)
There’s a pattern in the horse world that mirrors the human one a bit too neatly.
People don’t like mares for the same reason they don’t like strong women.
They’re direct.
They know what they want.
They have boundaries that aren’t negotiable just because you asked 4 times.
Call a mare “moody” and half the time you’re just describing a horse who refuses to tolerate behaviour that doesn’t serve her.
Watch a herd for long enough and you’ll notice it’s the mares who stitch the whole thing together. They manage space, negotiate tension, hold social order, and they do it with very little fuss.
Geldings are lovely. They can be the reliable, soft-hearted labradors of the equine world. I adore them.
But mares… mares operate on another level entirely.
You don’t get anything for free, and that seems to be what rattles people. To work with a mare, you have to be clear, respectful, and emotionally tidy.
She will not pretend for you.
She will not humour you.
She will not let you blag your way through a session while you’re thinking about your Tesco shopping list.
And that is exactly why they’re my favourite.
A mare makes you accountable.
She makes you present.
She makes you honest about who you are and how you show up.
People say mares teach patience.
I think they teach you how to communicate with someone who knows her own mind.
And when a mare with that kind of intelligence chooses you?
That is not luck.
That is a privilege.”
Honestly, I read it and thought, “I resemble that,” and I could hear my husband yelling a supportive amen from the couch.
Before Bee came into my life, I will admit I did not know what I did not know when it came to choosing a horse. I had ridden both mares and geldings at my trainer’s barn, but those saints were so dead broke they practically had their own ZIP code of calm. I focused on finding a horse who could run barrels and bend poles, had “been there, done that”, was “in your pocket”, and absolutely would not buck me to Jesus. The whole mares versus geldings personality debate was nowhere on my radar.
If You Know Bee, You Already Know
She is the reason mare jokes exist and the reason mare loyalty is unmatched. She does not just fit the mare stereotype. She teaches the masterclass.
Bee is a mare through and through.
She is thoughtful, observant, and very clear about her opinions. She chooses her friends carefully and forms deep bonds within the herd. She is sensitive, smart, and capable of working her heart out when the partnership feels right. She teaches as much as she learns, and she makes sure I am paying attention every single ride.
She pushes me to be better.
She expects clarity.
She forgives, but she never forgets.
She holds a grudge just long enough for the lesson to stick.
In short, she is perfect. Almost.
And in case anyone thinks I am exaggerating about mares having opinions, let me offer a current exhibit from Bee herself. Lately, after we finish riding one part of the property and I point her toward another, she plants her feet like I suggested cardio. I point. I squeeze. I kick. I give a little smack on the backside. I back her up. I turn her in circles and figure eights. Bee responds by informing me that my suggestion has been declined. At one point I even resorted to pulling the strap off my phone pouch and using it like a crop. She will eventually go, but only with the enthusiasm of a teenager asked to unload the dishwasher.
If another horse comes with us, suddenly the world is fine and she marches forward like a seasoned trail guide. Alone, she is convinced the other side of the property is haunted that day. I kept saying she might be a little buddy sour or barn sour, but let’s be honest. She is also just being a mare with very clear ideas about the day’s agenda.
The same thing happens if we head back toward the barn. If I want to turn into the arena, she steers herself straight to the untacking area like she has already clocked out and submitted her timesheet. So we have our conversations. I tell her, very kindly, that only one of us gets to make the decisions and today it is me, sister. She disagrees, and we have to work through it which means sometimes I have to dismount and walk her over to the arena and then run her tail off. But we work through it.
At this point I am convinced Bee does not need a trainer. She needs a union negotiator.
So Which Is Better?
The truth is not controversial at all.
If you want easygoing consistency, choose a gelding.
If you want fire, loyalty, and emotional honesty, choose a mare.
If you like drama, buy a mare and a gelding, throw them in the same pasture and let the show begin.
Whichever you choose, the right horse has a way of finding you. Mine certainly did. 🐝💛
If you are still here, Bee says that qualifies you as a super fan. DM or text me your next topic request and we will buzz about it soon. There are no dumb questions here because trust me, I have asked them all. If it is horse-related, chances are I have already googled it at midnight. Nothing is off limits in this little hive of horse chaos. Honest horse talk only.
Until next time,
Christina and Bee